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to ashkie:


So we parted after Christmas. I confessed whatever I did to my then partner too on the next day. I thought we could move on; I would learn from my mistake, make things right for us three.

Then my nosy ass decided to continue asking about you. I wanted us to remain as gaming buddies. Even if our stars weren't aligned, I didn't want to lose someone so special to me.

On new year's eve, we somehow continued to stay on the call after the games. I missed you, and wanted to at least be there for you awhile, for one more time, listening to you cry and chug your beer. When you finally decided to sleep, I was really sad. But hey, gotta move on. So I wanted to listen to you sleep, as if you were right next to me, because I would never get to experience that. Just let the batteries die off as I listened throughout, so I thought.

Then I heard your voice. I'm not even sure how I could have woken up; I would normally be in a deep slumber if I slept so late and it was only 2+hours later. I was so, so relieved. Things escalated, and you were in my arms again.

That's when I knew I couldn't just let you go again like that.

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